Tuesday - we arrived at the hospital and met up with birth mom. She let us know that we were not able to go see baby girl and be part of the speech training because, well- let's be honest...we are 2 random strangers to this hospital and there are rules (thank goodness!).
We went to the cafeteria...sat and talked - the 3 of us. Have you ever had one of those conversations where you know it is pivotal - where it is monumental - this was one of these moments.
We talked - face to face- about the gravity of the decision making for them as birth parents and us as adoptive parents. Birth mom made it clear - they chose us to raise baby girl- they picked us. We promised we were 100% in - no turning back. Powerful moment in time - powerful... monumental.
We talked with that social worker on the phone with all 3 of together and papers were being established to provide us with the guardianship of baby girl as all the other paperwork was being worked on... Together we walked to the parking garage and then parted ways.
So, what do we do now? Well we go to Buy Buy Baby and 'look around'... which equaled buying random stuff (which we later returned!) then grabbed some food and needed a nap. Waking up from that nap we were greeted with a text from birth mom letting us know that the hospital social workers provided permission for us to go see baby girl without the birth parents. We jumped out of bed - ready to go- and recognized the need to ground ourselves and continue taking the lead of birth mom who was navigating so much. She suggested going in the morning after shift change and that made sense and felt right.
We ended our day recognizing neither of us had taken a deep breathe all day. We are hoping for the outcome of becoming baby girl's moms and recognizing it may or may not happen...AND the next day we might get to hold our potential daughter. These once strangers have chosen us.